Painful

Sometimes the writing becomes painful. Not from writing but what is being written. The subject matter can hurt mentally and destroy a part of you that you didn't know was there. It can make you wish that you had never written it but it needed to be put into the story to enhance or explain why things happened the way they did. It's like trying to save a painful memory in a bottle but the bottle shatters in your hands. The pain is there, the memory has slipped through your hands, and life will never be the same. My mind feels raped and I know that I will get the one person telling me that it was too bad or too graphic. Like I said in another book, I don't control the story. I don't know what will happen until it does and I don't know how it will end until it ends.